Dating difficult man, our Emotional Maps
Think of a male film star who is tempestuous on set and doesn't follow instructions. Someone no-shows for a regular business meeting with you. One might be perfect on paper. The right ones will pay attention and stay. The cherry on top of all of this, is that this usually happens in a big city, or at least some place bigger than the hometown we grew up in, where excess is welcomed.
If a male boss tells you exactly what to do and how to do it, we tend to think of him as being high-powered, authoritative and exacting. Any woman knows that in todays world of non-relationships, to be given the gift of such open communication is a true blessing, even when it hurts. Working through your issues and resolving them requires far more blood, sweat and tears. The nature and depth of these traumas imprint themselves onto our unconscious and become the map of how we experience love, intimacy and sex throughout our lives.
It sounds simple, but why is it so hard? Learn the difference between criticisms and complaints.
It takes time and practice, but once disassociated from our emotions, we can enjoy the sex and validation of dating without concerns for intimacy, connection, and in some cases, ethics. It's easier to just keep reverting back to all the other points that making dating hard than it is to try and work on something with someone we thought we really liked. This is also why dating and relationships are so painful and difficult for so many of us, particularly if we had strained familial relationships growing up.
How to Date a Difficult Man
Every where we turn, it almost feels like we have everything telling us not to commit. The key is to do it incrementally. And breaking the criticism habit is tough. So when we finally do come out, we often confuse this as dealing with our issues, when in fact, this is just the beginning to dealing with what our issues really are.
Our Emotional Maps
Dating is hard, being in a couple is hard, but it shouldn't be this hard, right? This in some subconscious way made us less serious when it came to dating. Every irrational fear, g b liquidating corporation when liabilities emotional outburst or insecurity you have in your dating life is an imprint on your emotional map from your relationships growing up.
Do we want to get married? We feel like we have to hide a part of ourselves everyday for many formative years, which means we are neglecting other parts of ourselves that should be receiving precious energy. Mentally train yourself so that any time you feel anxiety, you force yourself to do it anyway. Getting married wasn't an option for our community until very recently, so commitment from a legal standpoint was actually far from a lot of our minds.
Most of us can call to mind a difficult woman we know in our lives. To be with a good man is certainly difficult, but to then be without one is devastating. This is why the people we fall in love with almost always resemble our parents on an emotional level. And for better or worse, the second something starts to go sour, we have reminders that there are men everywhere.
Confronting Your Issues and Winning Disassociating from your emotional needs is the easy way out. However, even when we do couple up, the way in which we operate as couples is quite different than straight couples. Of course a good man will always be courteous and gentle, which then makes getting over him essentially impossible. We all have a friend or two, who claims to love being single, but through candid conversations it become apparent he isn't addressing his deeper wounds from past loves and life.